Days Off: Galavanting Today
Day off is a foreign concept to me. Until recently. Of course, this is by choice, but nevertheless, a full day off is a novelty, something that makes me uncomfortable. You see, I operate very intensely off the concept that my business is this amazing gift God continues to bless me with. Not everyone gets to spend each day creating, loving on people and bouncing around in a little pretend fairy-land; at least that's what it feels like when I step back from the busyness of business.
My responsible nature insists that I should take every opportunity to work at it with a full heart and best effort. This can be a little tricky and become a bit obsessive. I don't very successfully obsess over anything, so this concept is a bit humorous to me.
Since I put my batteries on the charger Thursday afternoon, I began scheming for a full day off. Monday would be it. Thursday's work started at 6:45 and continued to 7:30 that evening, while Friday and Saturday both brought beautiful weddings into my schedule that took me out of state both days. The drives there, the events and the clients were better than I deserved, but they've left me with less creativity flowing out of my body than necessary for my daily work. How do I know? When the creativity required to put an outfit together for the morning isn't even there, we're on the brink of a mild burnout folks. Thus my striped tee and dark jeans today. Unironed. That's all I could commit to.
Sunday afternoon, once I had driven home, I crashed on my parent's couch. That's my usual style. Dead on the rust-colored couch in the living room for a couple hours Sunday afternoon. I've been known to walk into their office, the first room from the door and lay down, face first on the carpet and fall asleep for hours. Or my personal favorite: hours of dead-sleeping in the hammock that leave me awkwardly sunburned and lately, with hair full of bird poo. Yep. I've always subscribed to the work hard, love harder, serve always, burnout regularly and sleep-it-off when possible theory. It's mostly served me well, except for when the burnout isn't timed well with the rest of my life and plans.
I bargained with myself yesterday on my drive home, that if I could sleep for a few hours and get my home ready for the week, I would work on Monday. And I did sleep, and my home is mostly together, so I retracted the fun Monday plan, until...
Until that lovely boyfriend caught wind of my plan and replied with 'No girl, you've gotta go pack up yourself and sit in a coffeeshop or go to the library or ride your horse or just sit in a pretty place and read a whole book. You've just gotta.' After a couple minutes of hypothetical half-day off plans, and an elaboration on why I don't really need a day off, I promised to take one, or at least part of one. And I am so so so so so so glad I did.
I'm still adjusting to the 'okay-ness' of it all. When there were four knocks at my door before 10 that I didn't answer and three texts asking to stop by, I felt mostly guilty, but I kept on with my reading, my puppy cuddling and my plan to leave the house. So far I've hopped in the car and stopped at a furniture store I always look at as I whiz by, spent a couple hours at my favorite library studying portraiture and eaten pesto pizza at my favorite Frankfort hangout. The rest of the day includes some coffee and bible study, riding my horse, putting clean sheets back on, vacuuming, running with Leila and my sister and bathing her - Leila, that is. Then a little time in my baby garden followed by a full effort at a master to-do list for the next couple weeks. We shall see what happens, but just typing it all makes me feel a little more alive.
So here's our lesson folks….that someones (lots of them) should keep reminding me of: take time off so we can be present in our time on. Say no to things that don't fit, so we can say yes to things that make us feel alive. It's ok. The work will really be there tomorrow and the clients are going to appreciate a more alive version of me when the resting is over. That's what I'm telling myself anyway.
Some images of images I looked at during my library time. Thanks to Luke for the photoshop stitch together.