Oh goodness.

On this rainy evening I've sat on my couch cuddled up with my little dog and a mug of peppermint tea.  We've been listening to the Brooke Fraser channel on Pandora, writing notes to friends, sending a few leftover thank-yous and reading Dave Ramsey.  Then he got a little to touchy with the 'save all your money, don't buy expensive coffee and stationary' business, so I gave that a pause for the evening and went to perusing some of my favorite blogs to read.  Like actual words on blogs - not just pictures.  Hah. My recent highlights include Jamie, the very worst missionary (yes, that's real) and Ruth Wilson's blog, Stranger in Agony.  They're both insanely interesting and convicting, but it's Ms. Ruth who is currently carving holes in my heart.  She's participating in the world race at the moment where she hits 11 countries in 11 months and travels with a team to serve 'the least of these'.  Uhm.  Jealous.  Sometimes I wonder why the Lord sent me back to Shelbyville to do a little American Dream chasing.  When does my world traveling come?  I hear it in my ear...but it isn't quite clear.  Yet. 

Anywho, Ruth.  She struck a chord with me when she wrote, "The Lord has made me extremly extreme...and passionately passionate."  I was just sitting here thinking about my commitment to blog more and in that, share more transparently when I got to asking the Lord (again) why he made me so crazy.  It was that craziness I was going to write about and how being particular and focused makes me seem a bit manic some days....so why?  Surely a more meek woman was what he had in mind when he made ladies, right?

Meek isn't quite me.  More like soooo one-track-mind.  So focused, yet all over the place.  So convinced that I must run and go and help and do.  Oh.  And run this business and feed myself and the dog.  Hmm.  So compelled to give, even when I don't have anything to give.  So full of ridiculous ideas.  And so completely stubborn, bent on pushing through each of these crazy ideas.  Passionately passionate is quite simply, the most concise and accurate description I couldn't have ever thought up on my own.  I'm not quite extremly extreme...yet.  (Shelbyville may think otherwise, I still count myself as non-extreme and boring).

But this Ruth.  She's extremely extreme.  And she makes lists. Like the list of I Have's, written about her trip.  If you have a few minutes, it would be the most beautiful 10 you'd spend reading today.  If you don't - I'll leave you with the three in a row that stuck me in the heart first. When was the last time I did anything but climb in my car and complain about how hot or cold it was on the drive to church?  That is if I wasn't too sleepy to go...

"I have seen hundreds of orphans thankful for their one meal of rice for the day.

I have seen grandmas climbing mountains to go to Church.

I have been swimming in the most gorgeous watering holes."